Wasting My Fertility?

**WARNING, THIS POST JUMPS ALL OVER THE PLACE...and also mentions my vagina**

When my husband and I got married in 2004, we said that we were going to start trying to have kids in 3-4 years.  2008 came and went and we were childless and really had no desire to have any at that time, so we said we'd keep waiting.  I have always heard from everyone that things aren't about you any more when you have kids and your own wants and desires get put to the side.  I am a very selfish person to begin with, with a lot of goals and desires to do different things in my life, so naturally, knowing that information, it has made me shy away from having kids too soon.  We had roughly talked about starting to try to have kids during the summer of 2010, but different opportunities came up that didn't work with having mini-me's, so naturally as I always have in the past, I decided that the kid thing could wait.  A major one being that I wanted to run a marathon in December 2010 and doing that 6-7 months pregnant just doesn't sound like a great idea.  Yeah, I may be a horrible person for putting marathon running before starting a family, but I figured why not get as many things that I want to do for me done before having kids?  I don't want to be one of those people that resents their kids for making them give up their child free years too early. 

So back up in time to 2003... I had seen an add for egg donation and had called because at the time I was a poor college student and it seemed like a harmless way to make some extra cash.  Well, I talked to the lady and she said that I didn't qualify because my BMI was too high.  Plan diverted, idea lost, never thought of it again for quite some time. 

Now we're back to 2010... when I am thinking that it's going to be another 1-2 years before I have kids.  I have a couple friends that are DESPERATELY trying to have kids to no avail.  One day, in the caverns of my thoughts, I was thinking "How sad that there are women who are ready and very much so desire to have kids and here I am... sitting on thousands of fertile eggs of my own because I am too selfish to give up my current lifestyle."  Insert:  LIGHT BULB MOMENT!!  I asked myself "Are you wasting your fertility?  Is there a way that you could be helping someone achieve their GREATEST desire in life?"  For most that know me, the BMI problem is no longer an issue.  I am not a poor college student and the money isn't really an incentive anymore.  The incentive is watching the heartache my dear friend Katie experiences each month when she gets her period and finds out that she is at least 1 more month away from having a child and knowing that I could be the difference between a woman achieving that dream. 

So, I contact The Center for Reproductive Medicine, conveniently located 1 block from my work and see what the process is to become an egg donor.  That was sometime around November 2010ish... I have jumped through a lot of hoops, filled out extensive medical and psychological history and have taken the MMPI.  Tomorrow, I finish the last step before I am either given the official "we want your eggs," or the "no thank you."  Tomorrow I have a 1 hour meeting with a psychologist to go over my MMPI and then will be giving what I hear is an LARGE amount of blood for genetic testing.  If everything is a go, then my profile will be given to potential parents and I wait until one of them chooses me! :)  I was told that they recently had a lot of brown hair/brown eyed donors retire, so my kind is of high demand.  For once. ;-)  The nurse also told me that my height will also be a huge selling point.  Apparently people want tall babies. 

The process of egg donation is not easy.  Once chosen, I will have to go on birth control and my cycle will have to be matched with the recipients cycle.  Once synced up (3-5 weeks), then I will go on some 20ish days of 1-2 times daily injections of hormones to get my eggs ready for extraction.  Once I am ready **STOP READING NOW IF YOU DON'T CARE TO HEAR ABOUT MY VAGINA** they will then give me VERY short acting anesthesia, and a large needle will be inserted into my vagina to extract 10-15 eggs.  **END VAGINA TALK**  Once the eggs are extracted, they will be fertilized and placed into my recipient! :)  You have to go into the clinic for labs, blood draws, ultra sounds, on a 1-3 times weekly basis while you are going through the process as well, which is probably what makes egg donation really hard for most women.  Luckily for me, my work schedule is somewhat flexible and it's 1 block away. 

The center that I am going through is completely anonymous and I will never know who gets my eggs and they will never know me, nor will they ever see a picture of me.  I know some people have a lot of concerns/objections to me doing this, but I ASSURE you that I have done my research!  This does not in any way decrease my ability to have my own kids.  Actually, if nothing else, through the genetic testing, I will find out of any concerns there could be with my own fertility.  There is very little risk and the particular clinic that I am going to has never had any major issues.  They had one donor who got pregnant with 5 babies, but that was because she did not follow the strict abstinence clause while on the fertility drugs.  For her it was really bad because she was already a single mother, unable to care for her now 5 newborns.  I have spoken with people that have done this and read extensive literature.  Of particular value and what sold me on everything was a girl who I went to high school with who is doing it for the second time.  She kept a journal of her entire experience and after reading all 32 pages... I was sold.  I was actually EXCITED!  This is something incredibly beautiful that I am not using, a miracle gift that I could give to another woman who so desperately wants it.  Thinking of that, makes me tear up. 

I know my mom's biggest concern when I had mentioned it to her back in 2003 was "You will have a whole bunch of your kids out there!"  Love you mom, but I disagree.  I feel as though I am donating DNA, not babies.  Yes, someday a kid will hopefully come of it and yes, it will be half my DNA, but will have matured and become a life inside another woman.  She and her husband will have made the decision to go through with this and will go through all the normal "baby growing inside me" lovey dovey crap together... I will have in no way contributed to that in any other way then at a cellular level.  That's something that I am ok with.

So yeah... that's that.  Hopefully tomorrow I will be told that I have some awesome, fertile, ready to get sucked out of my body eggs! ;-)  I am excited to be able to help someone else achieve the miracle of life, while I continue to be selfish and decide that I still need more time in this wonderful child free life that I live.  :)  No more wasting my fertility for this girl!