Look Mom, You Get Your Own Entry!

So, mainly because it will not allow me respond to my mom's loving comments regarding my choice to donate my eggs, she gets a whole entry devoted explicitly to her! 

My momma's concerns:

Alright Little lady, To stay with both your blogs and the Mom you have been able to, for the most part, been able to count on, I must look at this from the other side and be the true friend you mentioned in your later blog. You are an awesome daughter that is both selfless and selfish. Waiting to have children is not selfish it is just plain smart, I have watched you enjoy all areas of your life, and I pray that you continue to walk this walk with the Lord. You have been open to all of His guidance and followed even when you are scared to death. You have made it so easy to be proud of you, and not just a mom to be proud of but many others around you.

Now to the point, my fear is this; is who is watching the eggs? How do we make sure your eggs do not cross with your other eggs, or the eggs(sperm included) of your siblings? Not that it should matter, but those eggs are my grandchildren. The reason I say it should not matter is 1)they are your eggs 2)I support what you are doing, because you are right these couples do deserve to enjoy all there is to being a parent 3)it is still in God's hands 4)It makes you happy. I do realize that there will not be dozens of these little Brooke eggs running around the world, but the chance is still there. To your comment that it is only 50% you...that is all we get in all conceptions. When I take this one step(maybe 100) further and the child would like to meet the biological family is there answers to that? It may be cellular to you, maybe not to the egg. Just some thoughts since you brought me up, bottom line I support all you do. I know you have looked at it from all angles and most importantly you have talked with God about it and He has blessed it. I love you and all you bring to the table.

You are the joy of my life!

I am so very proud of how you support me and the loved ones around you! Love you!

In Christ,
Mom

My response:

Oh Momma, you're such a good momma and I highly appreciate and take to heart your concerns. 

To answer some of your questions, this is a HIGHLY regulated process.  I have had to have DNA screening, blood testing, saliva testing, medical profiles, psych exams and everything else under the sun, continuously since November.  The eggs that I give are kept track of by number which is associated with me, but never publicised.  There are national and international registries to make sure that my eggs are not "crossing."  Also, another reason why I am totally open and honest about what I am doing, so if my siblings so choose, they know that is something that I have done.  I have been doing some research on consanguineous reproduction (the technical term for what you are referring to) and it is extremely unlikely.  The rates go down the more open and honest everyone is with the process.  But I will ask my nurse about this more explicitly when I have my next appointment (to learn about my shots, eeek), now that you bring this up. 

Which brings me to another one of your questions.  What if one of my eggs would someday want to contact me?  At this time in the state of MN they would need a court order and a very convincing reason why they needed to know.  However, if I CHOSE to, I could register my number with an international donor registry and could provide information about me, my medical and familial history and any other information for any potential eggs that hatch later in life.  ;-)  That is completely 100% my choice.  I completely understand that my hatched eggs could contact me someday and am totally ok with this.  I don't see it as anything but a total miracle and gift that I would proudly be able to say yes, you were once a cellular part of me, but I gave that gift to someone who needed and wanted it more then me at the time.  When my own kids are old enough to understand, it is definitely something that I would never hide. 

I get that the eggs are 50% of my DNA and yes my own children will also someday be 50% of me as well.  What I don't agree with is that they will be my "kids" or your "grandkids."  When they leave my body, they are unfertilized eggs and if I so choose, I may never even know if they ever become more then that.  As a side note, I actually am interested in finding out if they result in a pregnancy or not.  But I digress...this is going to sound like I am trying to be a smart ass or don't get the magnitude of what I am doing, but I assure you that is not the case (well kind of, I am always a little on the smart ass side).  However, I do not see them as my kids any more then I see each egg I menstruate each month my children.  Same thing.  I mourn none of the 145 eggs that I have wasted throughout my life by getting a period each month, just like I will not feel as though I am giving up my own children during this process.  However, if you'd like to mourn the loss of your grandkids each time I get my period, Bob said there will now be a monthly vigil.  JOKES...JOKES!

The number of times that you can donate is limited to 6 for one of your concerns that the system would not be abused and 1,000's of my kids would be wandering the streets (is that really half bad, think of how AMAZING this world would be) ;-)  No, but for real, I can only donate 6 times in my life by the time I am 32.  I am  THINKING that I will donate 2-3 times this year, max.  MAYBE 3-4 more times after I have kids, we'll see.  Each time you you donate, they take 10-15 eggs (that would have been released and disposed of by your body during that cycle anyway).  However, out of those 10-15 eggs that you donate, it usually results in only 1-2 pregnancies.  So realistically, at max it would result in 6-12 pregnancies throughout my entire life IF I donated 6 times. 

However, like you mentioned, the biggest thing that gives me peace and assurance that this is the right thing is the counsel I have sought in the Lord.  The center is actually run by a great deal of Christian women, including my nurse.  I have prayed about it at length and just like the sermon last Sunday said, I know that I cannot open doors that God closes and cannot close doors that God opens.  So far he has opened every door that I knocked on and I will continue to walk in faith in Him as long as the doors are open.  If for some reason, doors start to close, or I don't feel 100% at peace with what I am doing, I can assure you that I will listen. 

I love you for so many reasons, but even more for caring about me enough to raise concerns and trusting that I will hear you with understanding and love!

PS - Thank you for recognizing that I have followed Him even when my flesh was telling me "NO NO NO!" and I was scared to death.  His ways are always better then mine, even when mine are good.  His are better.

If anyone else has any other concerns/questions, I am open to a RESPECTFUL discussion.  I am however, not interested in this becoming a political or religious rhetorical conversation.