New Plan, New Goals, New Me!

I have been struggling so hardcore to get on track both nutritionally and exercise wise this past year.  I am clearly a stress eater and stress is not lacking in my life the past year.  All of 2011, I would lose 5-10 lbs and then gain 10-15...in the end, putting me 45.5 lbs above my goal weight.  I am FREAKING ASHAMED of that number, ridiculously (hence the no more hiding aspect of this).  How does a person lose 130 lbs EASILY and then in one year, gain 45.5?  Augh... I really didn't for see this, when I was on my journey, so wasn't ready for it at all.  Every poud that I put on, I used to beat myself up with, making it extra easy to put on another pound and another pound and another one, until I said "WTF AM I DOING?"  What gets me is that I have not been just sitting around eating, being a fat lazy pig for the last year.  I did Zumba regularly, started bootcamp at the end of the year, and ran (and trained for) a 10 mile race.  I have come to realize that working out is easier for me to be consistent with then my nutrition.  To distract myself from crap in my life I can work out, which I do, and I can eat, which I do.  It's time that I change that!!  Why would I continue to not get the benefits of my hard workouts if I am going to stuff my face with Chipotle, pizza, chips and cookies for the rest of the week?  I know what to do; I just haven't had the energy and motivation to do so. 

Well... this week I just kind of came to a point where I said "THIS HAS GOT TO FUCKING CHANGE!"  Excuse my language, but that's really what I thought...and this is MY blog, so I guess I will say whatever I want.  :P  I need to get back on track with eating right!!  So... after a lot of thought, I am abandoning Weight Watchers.  Now, before you think I think one bad thing about Weight Watchers, listen up.  I don't!  It helped me get my life back.  I owe 99.9% of my success to Weight Watchers (WW).  It was exactly what I need for a very long time and AM NOT ruling it out to help me in the future.  However, RIGHT NOW, it is not working for me.  The problem that I am having with WW is that you don't HAVE to eat right on it.  You just have to eat under your points.  This is bad for me right now because I will splurge within my points, lose control and continue splurging.  I do not have enough self-control right now for that.  I need something that is like "Brooke... giddy the fuck up and eat right you idiot!"  Yeah... I really do need to be talked to like that because I KNOW BETTER THAN WHAT I AM DOING!!  Why the hell would I expect anything different?  I am WAY smarter than that!  So... I am going to a new, more restrictive eating regiment.  Nothing special, just healthy.  My plan:  3 proteins, 3 veggies, 3 fruits, 3 starches, 1 fat, 80oz. of water and 1 dairy per day.  Going to add some Omega supplements, along with my FAVE Shakeology (chocolate and hopefully strawberry once that comes).  I am going to track diligently with my handy iPhone and I am going to be down 45.5 lbs by the middle of June.  I am going to couple this with P90x and running and work closely with the most amazing personal trainer there ever was (Ms. Lois Tiedeman) and I am going to be successful. 

I HAVE to because I am sick of this slow decline into less and less confidence.  It's not helping the stress.  Also... I HAVE a super sweet wedding to look UBER sexy in come October!!!  No Maid of Honor should look anything less than HOT HOT HOT in her little black dress!!  So... there you have it.  A real, solid plan that I have not a doubt that will work for me.  My insurance plan is putting it out there for the world to hold me accountable to.  I hate failing, especially when other people know my goals.  So it's not going to happen.  I'm doing really well work out wise for the last couple of months, it's time that I give myself credit for that on the scale. 

Anyways... that's it for now.  Check back later for a big - sign in front of my new weight!!  :)  PS - I could use some buddies, so if you have similar goals, speak up, stop hiding and we can support each other!!  I have an amazing support team (Stacy, mom, ect.) and we can all accomplish our goals together!!!  <3